The Top Ten Etiquette questions

For your destination wedding, Money matters. We know you don't get married everyday, much less have a destination wedding, therefore etiquette can be a confusing subject. Here are some of our most asked questions and advice on how to handle them.

1. I am having concerns about the extra travel expenses for my attendants. what exactly should I pay for and what should the wedding party be responsible for?

• Since typically destination weddings are on a much smaller scale, you may choose to subsidize (Budget permitting) but it is not required. What you do for one person You should do for all. A few ideas for assisting your bridal party by making your wedding more affordable might be.
• A negotiating discount on airfare and lodging.
• Accommodations if it is in your budget (renting a large beach home for you and all your guests and having the wedding there, might be a good way to tie in the entire event.
• Make affordable choices on dresses and accessories, or give them to you attendants as a gift,
• Ask them not to give you a gift for the wedding and let them know that their presence is their present to you.

2. What is the protocol when tipping vendors at a wedding?

• Tipping is a method for expressing your appreciation for a job well done. When planning your budget it will be important to include gratuities in your calculations.
• Check your contract to see if gratuity is included.
• The host should carry cash on the wedding day for expected tipping.
• If you use a wedding planner, they can be responsible for dispersing tips on the wedding day if not be sure to designate someone to handle this detail for you.
• Guests should not be expected to pay for anything.

The invitations.

3.  When inviting a single friend to our destination wedding do we need to include a guest on the invitation?

• It is not necessary to include guests for singles unless they are engaged, but make every effort to group them with others they know at the reception, to ensure they enjoy the event.

4. My fiancé and I are paying for our destination wedding, how do we word the invitation?

An example for appropriate wording might be:

The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of 

Miss Lee Cooper & Mister Todd Hill

Saturday, the eleventh of January, two thousand and fourteen 

at 5 in the afternoon.

Beautiful tropical resort, St. Thomas US Virgin Islands

5. How do I actually avoid inviting children to my wedding?

• Depending on where your wedding will take place, you may consider an appropriate “age cut off” based on the location and style of wedding you are having. Make sure to communicate well in advance if you’ll be including children or not. So guests can plan ahead.

6. Giving thanks. Is it appropriate to send an email thank you note?

• NO, even though we live in a world of the World Wide Web, it’s always better to send out hand written notes. Is shows you thought of you guests as special. It’s in such good taste and very ethical to show appreciation.

7. How do I handle if a card is separated from its gift?

• Match your guest list to you attendees and you may find it that way.
• People understand how mix-ups with gifts and gift cards can happen and would be happy to clarify which gift they sent.

8. How long do I have to write a thank you note if someone has given us a gift?

• Thank you notes should be written within a month’s time, but even if that time has passed. Do continue to write them, better late than not at all.

Party protocol.

9. Since we are having a destination wedding should we have other celebrations, bridal shower; bachelor/bachelorette parties?

• Please be mindful of throwing extra celebrations your friends and family might feel a pinch. You know your guests and their life circumstances better that anyone; make sure you recognize the overall financial outlay before adding more events to your roster.

10. I’m not inviting some people to the destination wedding, because we want it to be small and intimate. Should we invite them to the shower?

• You can if you are planning something to include friends and loved ones that will not be attending the actual ceremony.

“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it” Have a hometown reception and invite them to that.

Bon Voyage